Chapter Text
This took a really long time to flesh out properly. I thought about cutting it up into smaller segments, but figured with the long hiatus, it was only fair. Enjoy.
00000000 00000000 00000000
Around midday, everyone made it back to the ship laden with the loot they scored. The crew was hungry as hell, no one moreso than the Captain, who had been bellyaching about food for hours. There was a plethora of dishes to choose from, Killer and Moai having outdone themselves. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, pigging out and being rowdy.
No one guessed the marines would be hiding a diamond mine, but four people won the bet partway having thought of slaves or a secret jail. Snare, Papas, Disk J, and Hop split the prize money, each excitedly planning their purchases.
Jam quickly ate up, informing the pirates how excited she was to disassemble Vegapunk's holographic contraptions. "There's one more left in the jungle and five more traps. I'm going to tinker with what I've got and go to be bed soon." The short woman packed up a big plate for later, deciding to work through dinner.Let's take your military secrets, your hard earned work, and use it against you Vegapunk, you Beli-whor* sell-out!
Dive waited all of two seconds after the professor left before singing like a canary. It had been torture to keep quiet all day.Finally! I was going to blow!"We were all wrong. She's experienced," the blonde woman giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Experienced?" UK asked, from beside her, confused as soup dribbled down his chin.
Dive went on to explain about everything she learned. Jaws plummeted to the kitchen floor.The faces everyone has! House is so red! And the Captain…hehehe.
Kid had no words. He hadn't thought about her previous sexual experience; things like that meant sh*t to him. But she had preference. Usually he was screwing a prostitute, a woman with experience, but who was willing to do whatever he liked for the right price. The girls who clamored for adventure, who wanted to be railed into next week, well they never had any complaints or any real requests other than harder…he smirked wickedly, relishing in the memories of past conquests.Of course she's a picky bitch. Difficult ass midget. Wonder what the little freak likes…
"So what do we bet on now?" Reck asked.Wish I would have won that bet on the base. Need some new make-up.
"How long it's going to take the Captain to get in her pants?" Papas answered, helpfully, elbowing Hip in the ribs, making the women frown.
Kid snorted, grabbing another plate of food. "I ain't trying to screw the potato gremlin."
Several crewmembers side-eyed their leader, forcing the big brute to furl his lips.
"Boss you were feeling her up the whole time we tore through that base," Alt replied, staring at his leader with skepticism, as he signature glasses fell down his nose.How can he deny what he did right in front of us?
"She was a hostage! And I was just holding her. Not my fault her ass is f*cking everywhere," the redhead defended his actions, glaring down at his plate.f*ck who are these idiots to question me, their captain?! Piss off!
The family bit was another punch to the gut. Not one of them really had any family left. Wire had a grandmother and few had some siblings that stayed behind on their home island, but that was pretty much it. "If she can just up and abandon her family like that, what's to say she won't do the same with us?" Gig quietly asked, gloomily staring at his dinner.I wish my family was a snail-call away.
"The Professor left to advance her science. She had to go. Same way we all left for adventure," Killer responded, trying to prevent his captain from losing his cool.Kid's no good when he thinks someone will abandon us…
Hip shook her head. "Jam doesn't just have some siblings; she has the whole package: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the works! Who just walks away from that?!"God she's deplorable!
"Maybe they were cruel to her," Bubblegum remarked, slurping down his soup.Lots of reasons to leave. Don't need to jump down the woman's throat making assumptions.
Dive quickly dispelled this notion, shaking her head vigorously. "No she said they loved her. Funded her schooling and everything," she said, through a mouthful of bread.I bet it's nice to have parents who care…
Kid grimaced, not enjoying the direction the conversation had taken. Killer quickly intervened, "That's how it's supposed to work. Family should support one another. She was born into a good family. We made ours; it's all the same," the massacre soldier voiced, with a tone of finality.
00000000 00000000 000000000
After dinner, the crew split up, most going out to enjoy the island. Wire, Heat, and Killer called Kid to the training room to spar just in case the heavy conversation from earlier was bugging him.
"So what are you going to do about your little hostage?" Wire asked gleefully, grappling with Killer on a workout mat.
Kid glared at his close friend, and snorted, "Nothin', I taught her a lesson, we're good." He reached up blocking an incoming punch from Heat.
"Boss you carried her over your shoulder for ages, conveniently placing your arm under her ass," Wire replied, using his long arms to land a hook to the blonde's side.
Golden-colored eyes widened, annoyed at having to constantly defend himself. "Her ass is huge. Where else was my arm supposed to go?"
"And I suppose your face just had to rub up on her rear?" Killer teased, reaching to pull Wire into a headlock.I remember when I was the tallest of us four…how time flies.
"You didn't come along with me, how the f*ck do you know about that?" the redheaded man shouted, gritting his teeth.
"Everybody's talking about it," Heat chimed in, taking the chance to land a kick on his leader.He's so angry at being called out. We just know him too well.
"Gossiping ass hoebags," the man grunted before grabbing Heat's foot and throwing the tall man over his shoulder.
Killer threw a flurry of punches at Wire, not even breaking a sweat. "Jam thought you did so to get her back for the other day and while I think you are still mad about that ordeal, you just wanted to bury your face in her ass," the blonde snickered. "No judgment, it looks nice and plush."
The redhead rolled his eyes. "She needs to learn to take orders and my hostage idea was brilliant till those f*ckers decided it's better to kill a scientist than let them live and share government secrets. And yeah, the little bitch has a nap-worthy ass."
"Nap-worthy? High praise indeed," the masked man chuckled.
"We know how much you enjoy naps Boss," Heat added, wheezing.
Kids right eye twitched in annoyance. "Shut-it, flame brain." Heat raised his hands in surrender, trying not to smile.
Killer wasn't as kind. "Kid you went overboard when those marines attacked her. The guys said you broke into a frenzy. Jam would have been fine," the muscular blonde pointed out.
Crouching slightly, with his hands opened in front of him, Kidd resembled a bull about to charge. "You know damn well that I think it's f*cked to kill one of your own. They had that coming. That's what set me off," the redhead snarled, his voice rising steadily, as he rushed forward at his first mate, landing a swipe on him.
"Be that as it may, you didn't have to punish her by carrying her like a ragdoll," the older man chided, aiming a sweeping retaliatory kick at his leader.
Kid grunted, falling over, "How the hell am I supposed to get her back for earlier? Making her train till she passes out would be a waste when she could be making us cool sh*t. f*ck off, I had her put your meat freezer on top priority!" he yelled, grabbing at Wire and pulling him down as Killer jumped out of range.Sneaky f*ckhead!
Killer frowned under his mask, his own voice rising in volume alongside his captain's. "It's the smart idea to finish it while we're visiting a plentiful island. And take those damn letters off my freezer!"
"Never!" Kid grinned maliciously.
A small free-for-all brawl commenced, the four of them dog-piled on top of one another, fighting like small children. If anyone said anything, they were training. After tiring each other out, Kid panted heavily, sitting atop his blonde friend and holding Heat's head down against the sparring mat with his fist. Wire was pinned under Killer's bulky frame, "You cheating asshole, who the f*ck bites?" Killer smooth vice rumbled out, trying to push the big baby off of him.
"You pinched me! Shut-up!" Kid groused, pushing his weight down on his almost brother.
Heat rolled his eyes, while Wire grinned, both exhausted. "So how do you plan on dealing with this mess?" When Kid didn't respond, Wire grunted out, "You clearly want the woman Boss."
The proud man waved his large hand, nonchalantly. "I'm going to the brothel later. I'll find a bitch that's got a body like the Professor and bang her brains out. That outta be the end of it," Kid declared, sick of this conversation.
The guys looked at each other, wondering how their amazing leader could be so dense…but hey if he wanted to torture himself, who were they to stop him?
"Master Kid, I don't think it works like that," mumbled Heat, exasperated with the situation.
"She's just like a new exciting dish. Once I've got a taste I'll always return to my favorite meal," the muscular man said with a grin.
"You mean hookers and easy port puss*?" Wire teased, stretching out and popping his shoulder.
Kid hunched up, taking a defensive position, "Shut the f*ck up. Don't make it sound grimy like that. Girls flock to me. I can't help it," the redhead huffed, bragging.
"You mean they mistake the jingle of nuts and bolts with the clinking of coins?" Killer mocked.
"You're dead, you f*cking twat!" Round two soon commenced.
00000000 00000000 00000000
The tall pale man trudged through the streets of Hofuna, heading over to the brothel despite the advice of his friends.How dare they give me orders like that!
Arriving at the entrance, he greeted the madam, who quickly called over a few beauties. Red locks shook vigorously, "No, bring out all your girls," he ordered gruffly.
Kid studied the woman present, every last one with a bowed head. Sighing, he picked the woman who most closely resembled the little gremlin's body type. The sex-worker had a small stature, but was curvy with shoulder-length silver hair. She was dark-skinned, as all the island's inhabitants were, a bit darker than Jam, but close enough. The madam seemed perplexed by his choice, which weirded out the pirate. Why does she care who I f*ck? Nosy old hag…
Less than ten minutes later he was alone in a suite with the woman, who dutifully undid her robe and coyly asked what he wanted. Never being shy, the tall man barked out orders. "Look up at me. Don't stare at the damn floor when I'm here to gaze at," he commanded, putting his hand under the woman's chin. She nodded vigorously, her skin flushing slightly. "Better, now you know who I am, don't you," he grumbled, pulling her into his lap, as he reclined on the large bed.
She nodded quickly, but that wasn't enough for the greedy pirate. "Say it," he whispered huskily into her ear, his hot breath making her flinch in anticipation.
"It's Captain Kid," she answered back, with a blush, proud she didn't stutter.
Red lips twisted into a salacious grin. "Good girl. Now undo my pants and put those juicy lips of yours to work sucking me off," the redhead instructed, getting comfortable on the bed.
The woman slid off him slowly, rubbing herself across his lap and down his leg. She gave a soft smile and reached to undo his belt. Her eyes widened in surprise as his thick co*ck almost smacked her in the face, eager to be out.
Kid smirked, reaching down to palm her thighs. "Face your ass towards me like we're sixty-nining so I can have something to look at while you're tending to me."
She blushed, hurrying to get into position. He nodded, admiring the view of her sexy c*nt, already starting to dampen.Her ass is hot as hell.Reaching down, she gave a slow lick to the head, making him grunt. "Keh, ya like to tease, do ya lass?" he asked, a hint of his Scottish accent slipping out.
The woman grinned to herself, taking just the tip into her mouth and sucking hard. The captain raised his eyebrows, his hips buckling, What's with little bitches and all this audacity? He smacked her ass hard, leaving a red imprint and forcing her to shriek loudly. "Behave," he growled, swatting her a second time.
The small woman smirked to herself, knowing tonight was going to be good. Kid reached out and began slowing applying the lightest caress possible to her lips, barely teasing her outer folds. The woman buckled for a moment, moaning quietly. "That won't do. Need ya to scream me name," his deep voice admonished.
Suddenly he smirked, slipping his index finger all the way inside her. The silver haired woman croaked out a loud hiss, clamping down tightly on his lone digit. "Want another one, do ya?"
She nodded, taking more of his length in her mouth. He let her bob on his co*ck for a moment, slowing pulling his finger out as she whimpered in need. "I haff ta hear ya say it."
His dick popped out of her mouth with the woman eagerly shouting, "I want more Captain Kid!"
His smile became wild, his canines biting at his bottom lip as the pale man obliged his bedmate by easily stuffing her with two fingers. She let out a breathy moan, arching her back in pleasure. The two soon got a steady rhythm going, both getting close but stopping when the felt the other begin to cum. Sticky wet sounds and contented cries and grunts were all that could be heard.She's ready,Kid thought unable to hold out much longer.I wanna fill her c*nt up now! He pulled his hand away, making her pout and stop what she was doing.f*ck she's hot when she's needy.
Chuckling, he grabbed a condom off the dresser and after ripping it open, motioned for her to move over for a second. As he rolled it on his dick, he watched her eyes get a hungry look in them. "Tell me what ya want," his deep voice demanded.
"I want to ride you," she replied, hopping up to position herself. She was stopped by his arm reaching out and grabbing her tit harshly.
"Ride who?" he tsked, moving to bite her neck harshly.
"Captain Kid!" she yelped, not wanting to wait any longer.
The large man lifted her up with one arm, sliding her dripping puss* onto his co*ck. They both hissed in gratification. The woman leaned forward, placing her hands on his muscular chest and using the leverage, began bouncing up and down. He let her get a good rhythm going before he took over, moving her rougher and faster than she had been going. Her cries became louder, leaking out of the room that was well insulated to keep sounds in. Some workers outside in the hallway tittered and giggled.She must be enjoying herself!The woman spasmed on his dick, squeezing down hard on the captain. He huffed, getting close.She's only climaxed once. Gotta switch it up before this is over.
With a practiced hand, he flipped the woman onto the bed and really took charge of the pace. Ramming her into the bed, he used his hand to grope her chest, pinching and twisting her nipples. He bent down, giving a long lick to the side of her neck, before peppering it with harsh kisses and moving to her chest. The redhead sucked hard on her left tit, teasing the other with his hand.
When he felt himself getting close, he bit her hard, which made her arch her back and scream his name. The call drove him wild, causing him to finish roughly, shouting unintelligibly. He pulled out, breathing heavily and rolled over for a moment, relishing his come down. He glanced over and smirked at the white-haired woman's zoned out expression.
Sighing, he started to clean himself up. "We're here for a few more days. Might see ya again," he said, grabbing for his clothes. The young woman lay there, still catching her breath, unable to answer back. He smiled widely and gave her ass one last smack before departing the room. Opening the door, he found several blushing faces pretending to work. Kid smirked and slowly made his way out.
00000000 00000000 00000000
The next couple of days passed in a flurry of activity. Most of the crew was busy mining, gathering up as much as possible. A few had been tasked with helping Jam gather supplies and restocking the ship. She was grateful; Dive and House went with her to turn all the dead marines into biofuel, taking turns playing with her gloves and cracking morbid jokes at the expense of the dead soldiers.
"EW these f*ckers stink," Dive huffed, holding her nose.
House giggled, "I'm sure no worse than when they were living."
Dive snorted, "You know girls go on and about a man in uniform, but ugh how boring. Bunch of conformist pigs," she huffed, glaring at them with disdain.
"And this uniform is just plain ugly," the demon-woman snickered, holding up a pair of standard blue trousers, still attached to a pair of rotting legs.
"Least their good for fuel. Probably the first time, they've ever been useful. Bet we get lots of crystals today! We should be set for a long time, huh Jam?" the pigtailed woman asked excitedly, hopping up on a ledge to survey how many bodies were left to collect.
Jam hummed, doing some mental calculations. "I use a fair bit of power myself, conducting experiments. But we're good for now. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll find some cool loot hidden after we clean this place out."
"Gonna blow everything up?" the blonde chirped, popping her goggles on, and rubbing her hands together.I want to be here when the island shakes this time!
"In a few days. I promised Pomp he could do the honors. But right now, I'm still looting. Got lots of parts and whatnot. With the stuff everyone got in the jungle, my stock is looking brilliant," the scientist beamed.It's been so easy to get things with help.
"Have you got everything to make my glue?" the sharp-toothed girl asked sweetly, looking down and pouting.
Jam sighed, shaking her head in mirth, "Yeah I'll have that done along with those dyes for Boogie. He only asked for six colors but as this island had been abundant, I'll probably give him ten."
"Really? That's great. We could all use some more custom outfits," House cheered, happy at the prospect.
"I figure as payment we can probably get him and Snare to alter things for us," the professor explained, picking up some crystals she made.
"I always need things hemmed and taken in and Snare's stitch work is flawless," the bluenette praised her namaka.
"Same. It's hard being short. Don't tell bolt-for-brains I said that," she barked, glowering at the thought of that bastard smirking.Calling me tiny over and over. Still owe him a kick to the head!
The two petite women shared a look, knowing how much their leader loved teasing their poor friend. "We won't. We also have trouble due to our size," House complained, frowning slightly.
Calming down, the professor relented, "I could give you some help with that. I know the difficulty one has with being an adult that's smaller than average. There are ways to dress to help make sure people know you're an adult."
"That would be wonderful. I always feel like some people infantilize me, going out of their way to protect me when I am a perfectly capable fighter," the mother-hen-like woman sighed.I do not need shielding!
Jam nodded, being well acquainted with the feeling. "Your regular outfits should stay for battle. Those loose dresses are easier to fight in. But for going out and special occasions, I'll share my tips and tricks." House smiled, glad someone understood.
"Hey look these losers have money and stuff!" Dive shouted, waving a wallet and ring around, as the body she looted fell with a sickening plop to the floor.
"There are lots of shops here. Guess these ugly scrubs are paying to take us out," House grinned, reaching down and digging in a pocket, sticking her tongue out as she did so. She was rewarded with a wallet full of Beli.
The three women stood in a line and mock bowed to the pile of dead marines, giggling madly when they righted themselves. "Shopping!" they coursed, jumping about.
00000000 00000000 00000000
The islanders were incredibly confused. They had known of the tribe that lived in the jungle, but those people had vanished years ago. According to the Marines, pirates had been responsible. But according to their previously lost loved ones, marines were to blame. It was a tough pill for the residents to swallow. But such a blatant act of villainy had soured their feelings towards the World Government. Shouts broke out in the town square…
"Hell they made us sell them our produce at a price they chose. A price point that hurt us. f*ck 'em!" a middle-aged farmer shouted, raising his pitchfork.
An older woman nodded, hugging a young man. "I thought the beasts in the jungle killed my son but he was made to be a slave! This is outrageous!"
"That pirate crew decimated the entire base. What are we going to do? Some of the marines were good to us," another muttered, concerned with their fate.
"Hey those pirates could squash us. I say we just let them do as they're doing and leave well enough alone," a man said, hopefully.
"They did free the natives. They didn't have to. And we wouldn't have known they were there. Everyone would have probably starved to death," a town elder replied.
A young mother shook her head, "They also freed the captive pirates. Those guys could be just as dangerous."
Chief Taiyokoko gripped his cane tightly and spoke up, "We became friends with the pirates that worked alongside us. They will do this island no harm. Everyone is simply happy to be free."
A nervous-looking man quickly stammered out his concerns, "Yeah but what about the Kid Pirates?"
"They will be busy mining. If we leave them be, we should be fine. I doubt they have any interest in us as they are only passing through," the Chief stated with his booming voice. "That mine is full of bad memories. After they leave, we should stay out of it. Act like we know nothing. The pirates killed those marines and whoever was at the base. We will say nothing when a new batch arrives on the island," he commanded.They are already wanted, with large bounties. This won't affect them and I doubt they'd care.
00000000 00000000 00000000
Kid was slowly getting more and more furious. The crew successfully cleaned out the base and mined so much that the treasure room was full. After Jam disabled all the traps in the jungle, they had a good day exploring the jungle, hunting things to load up the freezer, and just taking in the sights.
A good portion of the island's inhabitants were friendly with them, giving them freebies and being generally pleasant. The food was great, the booze delicious, and their coffers were filled to the brim. All this happy good luck bullsh*t was pissing him the f*ck off.Rat ass stupid smiling idiots! We killed the Marines, so what? We always fight those bastards. He thought grinding his teeth loudly.
The majority of the crew was unwinding at a tavern, surrounded by beautiful women and copious amounts of booze. Usually, he would be in a great mood, but something was plaguing his thoughts, causing him to grip his tumbler tightly.
A large hand clapped down on his shoulder, "Kid you good?" his second-in-command asked.
The brute snorted, swatting the arm away. "Everything's fine, mommy dearest."
Reaching up, Killer pinched Kid's cheek and cooed, "Aw is my babykins hungry? Maybe it's time for a nap. Perhaps on a big cushy ass," the blonde taunted.It's a shame the professor is off shopping with those two…hmm I think I'll name them the tiny trio. Or the shrimp squad…the coconut shrimp squad because they're crazy!he thought, softly snickering.
Kid growled, twisting his body to glare at the massacre-soldier. "Bite me."
The older man shook his head, "Can't, don't know where you've been."
Kid frowned, before replying sarcastically, "So you're such a whor*, you didn't feel me up your ass?"
"Always knew you were a dild*. Didn't think you'd admit it," Killer replied, quick with his wit.
Chuckles broke out among the pirates, as their leader flipped off their first-mate. "The brunette at the bar is checking you out," Mosh said, having noticed the woman shimmy past several times in her shorts.
"Really, I hadn't noticed," the pale man deadpanned.She's gone by like six times. Take a hint.
"I thought you'd be good after your visit to the brothel," Wire smirked, giving Kid a knowing look.Face it, you know we're right.
Kid pouted, glaring up at his taller friend. "I ain't in a mood. Just bored. We tore through that base like butter and now there's nothing to do. And these damn locals are too damn friendly!"
"Bet you wish the little gremlin was as friendly as that brunette was. Girl's been bending over and everything," UK whistled appreciatively.Hot damn I love it when a woman knows what she wants. She ain't hiding her interest in us.
"Guess her ass isn't big enough. Shame, she's cute," Bubblegum quipped, winking at the woman.
"You go for her then," the redhead grumbled, waving the spiky-haired man off.
The slender man sighed, shrugging. "Alright, your loss," he said, walking over to the girl.
Kid stretched, calling over the bartender to give him another drink.Everyone's so far up my ass, I'm surprised they can f*cking breathe.He snorted and thought about his current little problem. So he was interested, so what? He'd give it a go, if there weren't potential complications.
First, there was no way in hell he was going to admit the guys were right. I'd never hear them shut their damn yaps if that happened.Second, women came to him, like the sexy girl putting her ass in the air.Why should I do all the goddamn work?Lastly, and most frustratingly of all, he had no way to tell if Jam was interested. Usually, there were signs; little blushes, stolen glances, flat-out staring, trying to be nice to him. f*ck his Observation Haki gave him a basic read on people. But Jam never once got warmer than friendly.
As a rule, her emotions ping-ponged all over the place, happy, sleepy, excited, angry, sad, murderous…but never did she hit horny or amorous or something he could work with. If Dive hadn't ratted her out, he would assume the professor was asexual.
And Killer. First, he says no to f*cking the gremlin. Now he seems ok with it. Make up your damn mind!And yeah his previous relations with crew members had gotten a bit sticky.The Hip thing, a big mistake.She was hot. She could cook. On paper perfect. But it all felt forced. They had nothing in common and the weird dynamic was too much for him. Plus the sex just wasn't it. She wanted things he didn't really like and he wanted things he could tell she didn't enjoy, even if she agreed to it. The first f*ck had been awkward and it never really got better.The crew thinks we only did it once. Idiots. I tried to make it work…
He had drunkenly kissed Quincy once, but it felt off. No sparks.He had fooled around with Joplin, but she got bossy afterwards.Not hot bossy, just naggy and whiney.He had done a few late-night sessions with Whitney, but it fizzled pretty quickly.We're better off as namaka,he concluded, shaking his head in agreement with himself.
With Jam he knew the risks.I doubt she would stay if things went astray. Probably try and kill me,he thought with a sh*t-eating grin.But she might go after the crew too…
And I'd lose a scientist. The big man sighed into his drink, not liking his options.sh*tty f*cking luck with this one. But f*ck, get over it, there are plenty of other shorties in the sea,he grumbled, downing his glass.
00000000 00000000 00000000
The rest of the day passed quickly. Hop planned to have all the girls hang out with the Professor later tonight. She had House and Dive on drinks, Joplin and her sister on snacks, and of course they bullied Skillet into making desserts.
Directly following dinner, they were all to gather in the woman's quarters. After the curveball Dive threw their way, they had to find out more about their mysterious crewmember. The night started off normally, with the girls painting each other's nails and then moving on to doing hair and make-up.
Some of the guys had been upset at not being included, but they thought the professor might be open if there were no men.Probably hides under that coat because of a man. It's the only logical reason left...Hip sighed heavily, feeling a bit bad for being mean.She doesn't know the captain well enough to perceive his interest. Still, I wish she wasn't in my way.
Jam was applying some of the moisturizer House made on Dive's face, tutting at the younger woman for not taking care of her skin. "You're skin looks like sh*t. You'll be an old crone if you're not careful."
The small woman pouted, studying her visage in the mirror, "I could stand to look a bit older. People treat me like a little kid."
Jam snickered, "We just need to update some things. You have to dress for your physique. Being petite comes with its own brand of issues."
"So a little bird told us you all sorts of interesting information about you," Hop said, eager to get the ball rolling.
The small blonde's eyes widened as she shook her head while staring at the professor. The scientist giggled,Pigtails looks like she's gonna sh*t herself."Dive I told you when we talked I knew you'd squeal," she said, ruffling the smaller woman's hair.Hm, it's kinds dry. She probably bleaches it blonde. Wonder what color it really is?
"Eeh? For real?" the smallest crewmember asked in disbelief.Oh thank-god. I didn't want her mad at me.
"Like a little piggy," she said, bopping the other's nose.
"Then why tell her anything?" Clash asked, perplexed.
The scientist shrugged, getting back to Dive's makeover. "It's not like what I told her is some deep dark secret of mine. I would have told anyone had they asked."
"Well then, have we questions for you," Hop stated, wanting to know more about their newest member.
Jam put her hand under her chin and grinned. "Oh hmm, I suppose I could indulge you. We'll go round the room, giving everyone a turn. But there is a caveat," she snickered, wagging a finger at the much taller woman. "You must also answer whatever question you pose to me." She reached over applying the same treatment to House while Dive brushed her hair out.
"That's not fair!" Quincy shouted, thinking of the embarrassing questions she wanted an answer to.
Whitney rolled her eyes. "No, it works. I've been with six different people. How many partners have you had?" she asked, applying some face cream.Don't want wrinkles ever!
"Two one-night stands, four romantic partners, which I define as ones that lasted longer than 3 months, and one f*ck-buddy," the scientist answered flippantly.It always goes to a sexual topic. Damn horny busybodies.
Some of the ladies blushed, while a few hooted in support. When the noise died down, Hip stood up. "Where exactly are you from?" she asked, deciding to start off small as to not completely bombard the other woman.Ease her into talking. Get her relaxed so she spills everything.
"From the Kingdom of the Dead. Anymore specificity would require me to make you a member too," Jam replied ominously.
"What's your favorite sexual position?" Joplin went right for the kill, Quincy gasping in surprise, and Hip slapping her own forehead.Idiot!Dive's eyes lit up, her legs bouncing in place, as she struggled to sit still. House blushed and several others smirked.
Jam bit her bottom lip, thinking for a second. "That's depends on the partner, but I do love reverse cowgirl. And you?" she posed, skimming over the giant make-up box on House's dresser.Oh, mascara.That will liven up Dive's pretty blue eyes.
"I don't know," the woman answered with a mocking grin.Like hell, I'll play your game.
Jam frowned, glaring at Joplin for her cop-out.
"What color is your hair?" Dive asked, deciding to stick to a safe topic, in support of her new friend.
"It's black and long but I keep it pulled back or pinned up. Chemicals are killer on hair," she responded.
Dive nodded and twirled a strand. "Mine's green but I've been trying out different colors for a while now."
Jam sighed, "You need to give it a break from all the dying as its starting to feel brittle. We should apply some oil to it."
A black manicured hand with long fingers waved disrespectfully. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get all distracted. Do you like men or woman or does it not matter?" Emma questioned, wanting to get back to the juicy stuff.
"Men. I prefer hard bodies," the curvy woman replied, finishing up on Dive's make-up.Ooh, the shadow really highlights her eyes.
"Ha! I knew I was right!" the slender woman shouted triumphantly, slamming her right fist down in her left palm.
Coffee colored eyes narrowed to slits. "Your stupid éclair trick offered no insight into my sexuality. Besides that not even how you suck a dick you amateur," the little woman hissed out.Stupid stringy bitch. I should ring her skinny chicken neck.
Emma pulled a face, sticking her tongue out. "I've never sucked a dick. They're gross looking...bleug,"she grimaced.Women are so pretty. The puss* is like a beautiful flower, so soft and warm. Dicks looks like funky eels and hairy balls are disgusting. Nothing 'bout a man gets me excited.
Jam snorted, crossing her arms across her chest. "That's obvious. That pastry you rammed in my face scraped the top of my mouth. Had it been a real co*ck there were have been teeth. One would assume that if you bother with giving fellati*, you liked the guy enough not to hurt his dick. Also I gagged a bit and nothing would ruin intimacy more than barfing all over a person," the inventor sneered.
There was some light blushing on several faces. Jam grabbed a black ribbon and used it to add a waist to Dive's normally loose-fitting dress.There it's black so it will blend in. Maybe I can get Snare to take it in for me later. When you're small, loose clothing adds to the child-like appearance.
Emma slapped her knee, snorting "I knew you were a dick-sucking queen! Got your technique down and everything!"
The professor glared at her. Snaking past that mine field, before a fight broke out, House asked, "So what's your favorite part of a potential partner? I'm partial to a deep voice."Makes me melt internally.
"I like a big lap I can use as a throne and strong arms that can squeeze me tight," she gushed. A few of them smiled, knowing Kid fit the bill.
"Dive let it slip that someone may be interested in you. What are you planning on doing about it?" Hop asked, curious about the fate of her boss.
"Nothing. I'm not going to acknowledge a coward who can't talk to me," she said in a weary tone.Hmm, Hop planned this evening. She must be most concerned about this mystery man. I think Hip likes the captain so she's most likely asking about this dude for her sister. Like I care about something so asinine. God the way they worry about this guy makes him sound pathetic.
Mouths hung open and a few fist balled up.How dare she call him a coward!"Then why do you tease him so much?" Quincy asked, trying to get to the bottom of the situation.
"What the hell are you talking about?" the intelligent woman shrieked, confusion lacing her voice.
"You're constantly shaking your f*cking ass," Clash decided to let the cat out of the bag and get over the biggest gripe her crewmembers had.
"No she doesn't. Only when she works," House was quick to advocate for her friend.
"So I dance while I'm working. It helps with the monotony. You ever spend hours making the same sh*t over and over? It sucks. And it's not my fault you guys decided to spy on my ass, literally," Jam spat.
"We didn't mean to intrude on such a private moment," House explained, red from embarrassment.
Jam gestured her hand in a no motion. "You misunderstand me; I don't dance like no one's watching. I dance like I command the whole room. Dancing is big back home," she explained.
"But your movements seemed kinda boring when you danced in front of us after that gigantic explosion compared to when you were alone in your lab. You can really shake those tail feathers!" Emma laughed, wiggling her tush.
Jam threw her head back and groaned. "It takes longer than three minutes for me to really get down. That little bit I did when I blew that base up was a warm-up."
"You tease him other ways!" Joplin shouted, her ears steaming.I know you do it on purpose!
Deep brown eyes narrowed, not believing the sh*t spewing from this bitch's mouth, "Oh do tell," she said sarcastically, reclining in Dive's bed, as she applied a curling iron to House's locks.
"It's the way you speak," the pinkette clarified.
"I can't control the cadence of my voice," she jeered, knowing how people thought her accent was sexy.
"It's not just that. Everything you say has innuendo," Whitney added, understanding how Kid's mind worked.
"It does not. Look if this idiot, whomever he is, twists sh*t in his mind to be dirty, that's his problem. If I wanted to tease a man, it's not like I don't know how," the scientist huffed, balling up her fists.
"So how would you tease this idiot?" Dive giggled, her squeaky tone peppered with mirth. She grinned heavily, styling her hair into her trademark bubble pigtails, the picture of innocence.
"Well for starters I could put my tit* in his face, sit in his f*cking lap, whisper naughty nothings in his ear, steal a kiss…I have done none of that. Tell me what exactly have I done to tempt this man?" she yelled, vexed by this situation.
"You have hugged him with those giant milkers of yours," Emma pointed out, reaching out to grab at Jam's chest. The small woman swatted her hand away, making the slender woman pout.So close…
"I can't do nothing about that," she grumbled, stomping her foot down. "I hug, it's platonic. I don't control some random f*cker's horniness!"
Going off the handle, Hip lost it, angry at how well her captain had been treating the scientist with her not even paying him any mind. "He's nice to you!" she shouted.
"Nice?" the professor asked quizzically, pondering all her interactions with the pirates. "I suppose the guys here are pretty accommodating. But all things considered, I am accommodating in kind. How many things have I invented for the ship so far? Let's see, a giant freezer, a dehydrator, medicines, the beginnings of a new weapon for the captain based on electromagnetism, and oh yeah, unlimited power for everyone's dumbass crap," she finished sarcastically, before continuing on her tirade. "Plus I'm almost done with a few more things, like that pasta maker and hypoallergenic gauze. So what exactly do you mean by nice?" she bellowed, standing up menacingly and clenching her jaw.
Her anger had a few of them flinching.She doesn't look so small when she gets like that."Um well," Hop began, stuttering.f*ck we don't want to give away too many details least she figures out it's the captain…
"He doesn't yell at you the way he typically shouts at everyone," Quincy muttered, saving her friend from ratting out their leader.
"He brings you snacks!" yelled Hip, balling her fists by her sides.Snacks he has me prepare!
"He praises your work!" Joplin shouted, red in the face.Him and Killer have been fawning over that stupid freezer. We haven't ran out of food in ages! We don't need it and we don't need you!
Jam co*cked her head to the right not believing what she was hearing. "Ah you're crumb bums," she finally said sardonically, slamming her right fist down into her open palm.Several of the guys bring me snacks, they all praise the things I invent, and no one save the captain has ever yelled at me.
"Excuse me?" Whitney asked, annoyed, folding her arms across her chest.
The professor put her index and pointer finger close together, miming something minuscule. "You accept tiny little crumbs of affection and considerer that good enough. No one here has done what I consider to be the bare minimum for even approaching me in a romantic capacity. f*ck, even if it's just for some casual sex, I like to be treated well. I have exacting standards."
"Aren't you a prissy primadonna?" Clash snorted, finishing up the bright red polish on her nails.
The petite scientist shrugged, "Hey if you settle for crumbs, don't cry when you're still hungry. My greedy ass wants the whole enchilada."
"What's an enchilada?" Dive hopped up, having a blast, a true enjoyer of chaos.I knew tonight was gonna be so much fun.
The professor smiled, going into teacher mode. "It's a very delicious tortilla coated in a spicy tomato-based sauce with cheese and usually stuffed with beef or chicken. But I meant it as a metaphor. As in I want everything," she explained, using some new eye shadow on House.I missed doing this with my friends and cousins back home…
"What's a tortilla?" the bubbly blonde asked again.
Whiney frowned, pushing the talkative biter away. "Enough stupid questions. What do you require?"
Jam snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'm not telling you all that. It's bad enough how intrusive several of the questions have been. And a tortilla is a flat circular unleavened bread disc made of cornmeal or flour and filled with savory vegetables and meats. It's delicious," she replied, unable to ignore her closest confidant.
The room's atmosphere became stagnant, as the professor contemplated the evening.This whole night was to find out more about my sex life and how I feel about a relationship. Waste of a good time in my opinion."You guys are really worried about this mystery man," she mumbled, studying the room's occupants and the overarching feeling of distress.
Jam sighed and chose a pair of sparkly kitten heels for Dive, who eagerly put them on, posing sexily and pouting in the mirror afterwards. "Look whomever he is, you guys are entitled to him. You know him better, f*ck take your chance. But don't be the monkey on my back flinging sh*t at my face because the weirdo is attracted to me."
It got quiet after that, no one having a good retort or way to restart the conversation. But if they thought for one second that the professor wasn't a petty bitch, they really hadn't learned anything at all.
The small woman finished up on House, adding a spiky silver belt to her dress to show off her curves. "House you got any nice shoes? I think we're the same size."
"Um, yes I do. You wanna borrow a pair?" the blue-haired woman asked kindly.
Rifling through the shoes the other woman brought out, the professor selected a pair of black stilettos with a lacy bow on the back. She threw them to House and winked, "Put those on."
House blushed but complied.
Going back to the pile, she chose a pair of four-inch purple ankle boots that caught her eye. Slipping them on, the scientist unbuttoned the top two buttons of her lab coat, exposing a silky black blouse with a scoop neck top showcasing her ample chest.
Humming, she admired herself in the mirror, reaching down and detaching the bottom of her lab coat, showing off her shoes and toned legs. When it was hot, or the terrain was treacherous, the coat could be shortened by a foot by unfastening the snap buttons all around it. Folding the fabric neatly, Jam put it down on Dive's bed.
The top collar of the lab coat had two thick straps covering her face. The bottom one exposed her lips and was the one she removed for eating. Popping it off, she reached into her pocket, pulling out a shiny lip gloss to accentuate her purple lips.A kissable pout, a man's true weakness…
Hop went wide-eyed in surprise. Blinking slowly and stupidly, she asked, "What are you doing?"
Jam smiled diabolically, licking her lips. "You claimed I tease this poor unfortunate soul. If you're accusing me of the crime, I might as well commit it," she practically sang out, deciding to be spiteful.
"Ah! You can't do that!" several voices shouted at once, jumping to their feet. Dive broke out in a fit of giggles and elbowed House, who covered her face, trying to remain composed.Being childish again are we Jam? For all your intelligence, you're really no more mature than any of us.
"You're going to stop me?" the woman chuckled darkly, a bit of mania leaking out. The other women exchanged nervous glances. "He's a big boy. Quit acting like anyone on this crew needs to be babied," the small woman snapped, putting her hands on her hips. "Come on you two, let's show off your outfits and see what the men are up to," she cackled.
"Coming!" her cohorts answered.
00000000 00000000 00000000
Kid was relaxing on the deck with about half of the guys milling about, drinking straight from a bottle of rum. There was music playing in the background, guy's playing cards and horsing around. It was peaceful, till he heard shrill shouting and evil giggling coming up the stairs. Dive had a nefarious giggle; it sounded so girly, but sinister at the same time. The professor shared this trait, making Kid wonder if it was true what they say: the shorter the woman, the closer to hell that bitch be. He chugged his rum, knowing that if sh*t were to hit the fan he would rather not waste good booze.
"Told you it was bad idea to leave those women alone. We should've been spying," Boogie side-eyed the cabin door that lead below deck to the sleeping quarters.
"Hey I like my bits where they are," Reck shook his head, deciding to fold. He sipped on some wine, pouting about his loss.
Thrill looked up from his comic book, "Those woman are crazy," he complained.Is it too much to ask for some quiet?
"But aren't we too?" Skillet asked, finishing out his hand of poker, and piling up his winnings.
"Yeah, but would any of us chop off a pair of tit*? We've seen Hop castrate an enemy," Compo grimaced.I know the f*ckhead deserved it for grabbing her ass in battle, but I wish I could flush it from my brain.
"Don't remind us!" They all shuddered, grabbing at themselves.
"I wonder what's got them all aflutter," Hear murmured, when he recovered from Compo's remark.
The below deck cabin door was kicked open, blonde pigtails bouncing into view, laughing, as what he now dubbed the mouthy midget musketeers, emerged. They were quickly followed by a hissing Hip, Hop, and Joplin and a chuckling Emma. The others looked agitated or nervous, putting the whole crew on edge.
Kid never really thought of either House or Dive as attractive. They were petite and he viewed Dive like a little sister, causing mischief and pranking the crew and House as a mother hen, taking care of everyone and trying her damnedest to keep the peace among such a rowdy crowd. They both wore loose fitting dresses, which while feminine did nothing to draw in his attention. But apparently with the right make-up and outfits, they were more appetizing. The thought grossed him out.Ugh…he shuddered, looking ready to hurl.
When the little gremlin emerged behind her two best friends, his eyes did a double take.Her tit* are out! Caramel colored handfuls of giggly flesh…he turned to Killer and pointed to Jam's chest with his eyes.Those melons bounce with each step she takes! And why are her lips so shiny?! Who's attention is she aiming for?!
Killer nodded ever so slightly, motioning downward and drawing Kid's eyes to the sexy leather purple boots the woman wore, effectively overloading his mind.That ought to be kick to his face, the big lug. Don't know what inspired this…feel a bit bad for the metal head.
Most of the guys were in shock. Bubblegum stared off at his captain, mumbling to those closest to him, "She's gonna kill him. Here lies Captain Kid, death by blood loss cuz it all went south."
Pomp snorted, but blushed. "Can't really help it. Those cannons are hard to hide."She could smother me with those.
"We're hitting up the bars!" the evil trio waved, dashing to the gangplank.
Kid's brain rebooted at that, making the large man jump up and land in front of his subordinates, who giggled wildly. For some unknown reason Jaguar was right behind him, mouth ajar. "I thought you were having some girly night in," the boxer rushed out, surreptitiously eyeing Dive.
The professor smirked evilly,I knew it! Now to get away, and leave him wanting more. I wonder if he'll follow after Dive or not?
"Everyone was being so boring. We're going out to party!" Dive shouted, cheering, her cat-eye make-up giving her a more seductive appearance.I look amazing! Bet guys will buy me drinks for once.
"Don't you need someone to come along? For safety," Jaguar asked, a slight flush creeping up his face.She looks so pretty right now. f*ck, the barflies are gonna be all over her!
"It's just a bunch of civilians. Why the f*ck should we be worried? Who the hell is gonna mess with the Kid pirates?" Dive shouted, eager to head out.He is so mean to me, always spoiling my fun. Go away, you ugly bastard.
"You don't look like pirates right now," someone muttered.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" House snapped, getting angry and scanning the crowd for the perpetrator.
"You don't look rough or nothing. Like usual. Someone might try something," the poor man tried to explain.
"We're not unarmed, stupid," the biter hissed, pulling a dagger out of her cleavage. Jam was grinning, watching poor Jaguar flounder. She skimmed the crowd, trying to see if anyone was checking her out.Darn, too many are distracted by my knockers. sh*t. Plan failure.
There wasn't much Kid could do. He never limited his subordinates from doing as they pleased long as their sh*t was taken care of. Plus Dive made an excellent point.What dumbass would dare to f*ck with one of my people?!But those little witches were bound to attract unwanted attention.He could hear Killer trying not to laugh, a grumbling, almost purr emitting from the blonde.This sh*tty asshole is laughing. Motherf*cking c*nt…and if I stop them, that bastard will act like he was right.Wire, the co*ckeyed bastard, looks way too f*cking happy. It's unnatural on him. Outta repel him into the harbor. Hm, Heat looks antsy. Big-ass softie is probably worried about these three. Clearing his throat, he growled, "Go, but be back in time for your shifts."
"You got it boss," Dive saluted, before sticking her tongue out at Jaguar. Three small ladies jumped to the docks and bolted into the night.
00000000 00000000 000000000
I've wanted to do this chapter for so long. Work is the bane of all my enjoyment. Along with my other responsibilities…
This man is thick. Kid's smart about his powers and how the world operates but not smart about his own emotions. It's gonna take while for the nail to really hit him over the head. He thinks he's just horny because she's new and shares a similar hobby. The idea of liking a woman in particular is not something he would ever willingly admit easily. But I do hope you liked the taste of smut I wrote.
Did you see episode 1080? His crew is fun! He is trying so hard to be grumpy and serious. Don't get cozy with the others. Killer over here acting as Captain and telling everyone to go get trashed at the festival! Ah the debauchery!
Several who have taken to including more of the Kid Pirates into their writing have decided that Dive is a child. If you view her original concept art, she is a petite woman. It's a hard line; petite people often get infantilized. I just can't see Kid taking an actual child along, unless he had to. Plus she is drinking beer along with the others in Wano and I'd hope someone (most likely Killer) wouldn't allow a child to drink.
I've wanted to buy some merch for a while. Know any good small artists on shopify or etsy that make nice things?
I found out recently through a translated interview that Oda was inspired to write One Piece by a cartoon called Vickie the Viking, so I'm hoping the Punk Victoria is alright in some capacity as are her inhabitants…
Spoilers:
000000000
000000000
000000000
000000000
If you've seen 1115, just know Oda is a mega troll. I wanna kick him in the head for getting my hopes up. Remember the fake Strawhats? Well the same ugly guy is cosplaying as Kid and his crew. It's ridiculous. Now they guys have been in impel down since Sabaody and Elbaf is not affiliated with the World Government and does not give updates on what happens on its shores to the news. No one knows anything about what transpired between Kid and Shanks. Plus it just happened. I think Oda was being a troll and coinciding this with 1079 being animated. Still, I hope the guys are alright.
